The percussion could use some work. I would have made the snare much louder, thrown in some reverb, probably selected a different sample/built a different snare altogether. I would also throw some sort of high end kick to layer the one you have; it seems to only have low frequencies. The mood seems to change with each new synth/lead that comes in. The piano/guitar (can't tell what it is) seems to be from a poor plugin. Try throwing effects on it to make it sound better. The bassline is pretty solid. It's a unique track with a lot of changes throughout it. I personally find that it's a little too much. It's gives off a good vibe though and I wouldn't say it's bad at all. However, I would rethink the arrangement and try to focus on a few of the best melodies and play off of those in addition to the previous suggestions regarding the percussion and EQing. Keep at it, though. Music is individual, and keep trying to develop your own sound.
I'd appreciate any feedback you could leave here:
(F4F) Rap, Pop Piano Instrumental | "Never Forgotten"