I like the idea, but you definitely need some variation. After 1:48, the track pretty much repeats itself exactly how it was in the first half. Chop up the melody somehow with arpeggios, EQs, etc.
As for the sound itself, I thought it was pretty good. I'd say to make your snares a bit more prominent. Definitely bring out the one that comes in at 1:30 to give the track a little more groove.