Here is the solution. Create a great mix with plenty of headroom. Then get it/or apply mastering to said track.
So say you create a music track. Let it peak relatively low. Lets say -10db for starters. It will sound "low" so TURN up your MONITORS. That much room will allow you to get much more out of a mix. Then you add vocals. Record them the same relatively, allowing plenty of room. Remember that you can always turn something up if its to low. Now once youve got that nice mix and still plenty of headroom and dynamics, master it. Get it to a suitable level. It doesn't have to be blaring and crushed to death.
How I see it is whats the big deal? Cars, T.V.s, iPods/Pads and any other aplication that hosts audio has volume buttons or knobs. Meaning that one person may want the track to be louder than life and another may want it lower. They have control essentially. Radio station and broadcast companies have limiters before the music or voice hits the air. So it will bring up your mix to the level of everyone elses.
General consumers have no IDEA what a great mix is, but as soon as it sounds bad they want to point fingers. When composers put limiters on their mixes for showcase its cool. But when a client buys the track and they are sent the still compressed mix then there in lies a problem.
Mixing Engineer & Record Producer ~ Twitter @Trilltrax