There are some general rules of thumb when to comes to eqing but, instead of cramming what each frequency range does to each instrument, experiment. Every situation is different.
Sometimes you will not "hear" clashing frequencies on one system so its important to listen to a mix on as many systems as possible (headphones, monitors, in the car, on the worst pair of crap-speakers money can buy). Some sounds like that clap will have no useful acoustic information in a certain range. For argument sake, let's say its a particularly "snappy" clap with a very loud transient and some residual decay. Pull up an eq and set a high pass cut (not a shelf). Sweep through the spectrum from the lowest end, until the clap begins to sound like its getting rather thin. The point at which it starts to sound thin is where you dial back and leave your cut. This is will allow your kick to make the most of the lowest end of the spectrum without useless information coming from the clap.
I also learned that sometimes subtractive eq is not the answer. Sometimes you want to keep that low end information from the clap so here is an alternative. Try using a multiband compressor. Tony Maserati has a very informative video about this, specifically applied to vocals (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3yU14xpJ8). If you want the kick to come through when the clap and kick hit at the same time, then compress the clap at the clashing frequency with a fast attack and a short to medium release. this will allow the initial transient of the kick to come through while the listener still "hears" that low end information on the clap. This is a more dynamic approach to eqing as opposed to a static notch eq that will remain the same throughout your track. This is very useful when you have a clap that is accented and will change in volume as the track progresses.
With regards to cymbals..
You may not always need to remove the shimmer from these instruments in order to put them in the back of a mix. While a shelf eq could work, try some gain staging. Simply turning down the volume is enough sometimes. Why? Because our ears use comparisons to determine direction and distance. This is why delaying the left or right channel on a stereo track makes it sound like its coming more from one side of the stereo field. Thus, if the other elements in your mix are comparatively louder than the cymbals, that might be enough to put them in the back seat. Again, experiment. Sweep through the spectrum on your eq to see which frequency gives you the desired effect.
