Desperate question from girlfriend of dj

Dump him and move on. Sorry to say it so bluntly, but if you and your story are legit, and you can't see that there is little apparent future in this "relationship," then you need assistance in recognizing the obvious. _He is not for you_, unless you really want to be with a spoiled, self-absorbed and deluded ween. IF he is the one-in-a-billion that "gets famous," these personality/relationship problems will only get _worse_, not better.

MoveOn.org...

GJ
 
I'm just going to throw down what I think here. It's really great to hear that you are a supportive girlfriend. Most girls these days absolutely cannot stand when they're away from their bf whether he's traveling for work or not. I don't know how many times he has done this in the past, but from what I can say right now, these sort of things happen in every relationship at some point, people aren't perfect, sometimes our selfish sides show, and we end up deciding to go with what's not as important, rather than what actually is important. The important thing in this situation is you and the concert he promised to go to with you, and the un-important thing being the rave.

I am pretty dumbfounded as of how so many of these people on this forum can just outright say "Dumb his ass" just because of this one situation, it makes me wonder how long their past relationships have lasted. But like I said before, I have no idea how many times he has done something like this so if I read wrong and it's actually been several times, then I stand corrected. But by all means, I'd say you just have to trust him sometimes, and give him space. You don't have to go everywhere with him, and I'm sure he'll be fine. A DJ getting shot is pretty unlikely considering they're the life of the party, a rapper getting shot on the other hand...yeah I could see that happening only because it's happened tons before. But really, anything could happen anywhere, so try not to worry so much. But back to the situation, what you really need to do is sit down and actually have a serious talk with him and tell him that what he did is immature, in a relationship, promises are very important, and not keeping them could be very damaging. It's probably not a good idea to think about marriage if this is a re-occurring issue, but even if it isn't you should let him know it can be very damaging in relationships.

And about the the whole "Getting famous thing" It's a bit risky but dreams are awesome, I'd tell him not to put his future on the line for the chances of that happening though. It's great to hear you both are in college though.
 
Let's be honest. Girlfriends are the biggest drawback to a DJs success. I'm not trying to be an *******, but you should leave him. You'd be helping him out in the end, and yourself because if he really does make it big, he's not going to want a girlfriend.
 
Sorry to say, but this has nothing to do with music. He's not even playing at this rave. So he's blowing off something important to you just to go party and won't let you come with him...sounds like he's looking for some side action.
 
I think if you decide to stay waiting for him to achieve something,
you will have ignored opportunities for yourself to achieve great things.
And even though you give him energy to do good things, his goals really dont depend on you.
Here's a story:
Suppose you get a call from a company in Cali, and they say "we'll pay you to do what you love to do, $1500.00 every Friday. Every friday, $1500.00 cash in your pocket, to do what you're good at. But there's another girl in line for this job, so I really need to know your decision by tomorrow morning."
Your answer to this phine call will be something you remember deciding for the rest of your life.
Your ONE life. YOUR one life.

Rule#1: Lugging another person's dream around with you, always turns out to be not as good as going for what YOU want.

If (but we're hoping for "when") he gets a similar phone call, he won't hesitate, whether you're following him around or not.

You were not put on this planet with the function of following someone around HOPING he gets "famous", and turning down opportunities that excite You, and would otherwise enable YOU to feel like "i dont need to follow anybody".

That's just a true view I have learned from experience. You're strong enough to attract Him to follow You. But only if you do Your thing whenever you want.
So...what's your purpose?
 
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i would do the exact same thing to my gf. i'm kind of an ******* though. just let him do his thing, if it bothers you to an extreme dump him. make your own mind up.
 
Thank you everyone for your opinions. And in response he has done things like this several times, but the ironic part is a couple of days ago he came to me and said he wanted me to go and that he would as a therapist if he was doing the right thing, and if he wasnt he wouldnt go. I really really appreciate all of you guys help and if anyone else has an opinion continue to share.
 
His odds for making it big is soooo small. Decide if you wanna make your odds for going to LA the same size. Nothing to wait for in my opinion. But then again - I´m not in love. Which might complicate it.
 
So here we have a young DJ who loves to party and rave rather than doing his own shows. Has a girlfriend which he keeps in line by promising her fortune and fame. When it is very clear that he doesn't have a clue about life, success nor relationships.

He is young and stupid. You're young and stupid too. You guys are like early Eminem and Kim Mathers.

Seem like the type of people that learn by trial and error. So all I can offer is this advice...

Ask yourself this one question: Is this truly the guy worth spending my life with ?

If the answer is no, drop him and start pursuing your own life.

If the answer is yes, you'll have to find a way and put up with all the things you dislike about him and consider the possibility that he'll dump you sooner or later.
 
To me, it seems he just wants some time away from you i guess. That doesn't necessarily mean he's not into you anymore, so don't worry about it too much. Just make it clear that you were pissed about that.
 
This is a tough one. I say sit down and have a serious talk and tell him the problems that you have with what he is doing.
 
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