i could kick you in the balls, and tell you that the first year sucks for most people, but that wouldn't help... kidding, kind of. the first year is the hardest because it takes time to get your mind to express itself into the physical world and outside of your brain, a very frustrating thing indeed. but with time you will learn how to quicken the process and do it with better results.
also i think that you may be trying to do too much too fast. try doing one synth custom preset, drum kit, pad, sample correction etc. every day.
here is a quote for you, and big ups to anyone who can tell me what movie/ book it is from-
"matters of great concern should be treated lightly...matters of little concern should be treated seriously."
so stop wankin in front of your monitor and get to makin small ideas, because you will be glad you did in the future when you can start to sequence songs well.
be what you speak man, never speak on what you be.
- someone off anticon
all i know is that i know nothing.