Help me make a cover letter

[Brownz]

Sup guys, i just need constructive critisim on my cover letter, as in like what should i change what could i make better e.t.c its a cover letter aimed at labels & artists and i have another cover letter that i made to use towards getting a job as a studio engineer in a studio but ill post that in a thread later on.

Hi there,

My name is ****** (Under the alias of "*******.") I am a 21 year old Music Producer from the North East of England. I have been producing music as a lifestyle for over two years on nothing but Fruity Loops and a Midi keyboard. I make Hip Hop, Pop, Dubstep, Orchestral, Commercial music and more. With that said i hope you can find the time out to listen to the Instrumentals that i have attached to this email and consider them for use in conjunction with your Artists.

I have yet to professionally have my beats mixed & mastered by an engineer as i am waiting on the confirmation of acceptance from an Artist/Label to use the Instrumentals at question for there work. As soon as i get a confirmation from an Artist wanting to work with one of my Instrumentals, I pay for the Instrumental to be Mixed and Mastered by a professional studio that i have worked with.

Although i have had offers from third parties about buying my music exclusively and joint ventures, I have declined as I would like to work for a Record Label or Artist that i feel benefits me the most as a Music Producer and the Hip Hop Community as a whole.

My dream is to become the greatest Music Producer of all time and to inspire people to change there lives through my music.

Thank you for your time and enjoy.

Kind Regards,

*********


---------- Post added at 06:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:00 PM ----------

bump bump

 

[ProducerJC]

Your letter is one sided.

What benefits people get when working with you; and before you answer this question, understand that I don't know you or trust you, nor does anyone else. Don't be offended, just ask yourself, "How do people benefit from working with you?" Your letter shows that you're more interested in what you need than what others need and look for. I know this to be true. You're obviously looking someone else to benefit you, and your life.

]I have declined as I would like to work for a Record Label or Artist that i feel benefits me the most as a Music Producer and the Hip Hop Community as a whole.

The mindset for you letter is wrong, and comes across as if you expect people fulfill your needs and desires. Get over it, that ain't how the business works. Also, You mentioned that you've been in the game for 2 years... What have you learned in two years that others haven't learned in ten, twenty or fifty years?

Instead, try this...

Focus on building a positive presence in the music business. The first thing that professionals look for when collaborating with others is what benefits them most. Your ruining you're own opportunities if you go into your cover letter, with the goal of convincing labels to do work with you, talking about what you want most. Nobody cares what you want because people, for the most part, are focused on they want; not you.

Start hiring engineers to mix and master your tracks, because money talks and bull***t walks. Or, decide to engineer your own stuff. After that, use those tracks to build a presence and start inviting people to be apart of something. Use your music to influence others into actions like: dancing, laughing, socializing, etc. Make listeners feel something when hearing your track for the first time. In other words, focus more on giving than receiving, especially when it comes to getting what you need from others.

On the other hand, capitalize when people need something from you. People will pay if they need it bad enough and; when they do, be sure to do what it takes to get the job done. People should enjoy themselves enough to some back, sometimes regardless of the associated cost. At the end of the day, some things are worth more than money. Give business professionals the respect they've work there a**ess off for.

By the way, btw...

Forget about the audio engineering application for now. Look for an intern position instead. Work your way up the ranks, then start telling people what you need. You'll find more blessings that way.

 

[Brownz]

Thank you for the reply man i dont get offended dont worry and i really appreciate your input i will take in what you have said and change it mainly the second and third paragraph, maybe i should take the fruity loops and midi keyboard part out aswell and i should focus on the major label and tell them how passionate i am and how much benefit i could be to them for e.g. "I feel i can benefit the label the most by... e.t.c"

As for an internship, i think they call them apprentiships over here? the studio hires you as an engineer and they pay you a really small pay per hour and teach you at the same time, but in this day and age i think studios in my city are only taking on volunteers because its became so bad in terms of economy.

Is it ok for me to message you my new cover letter when i make it because i like how blunt and smart you are bro lol but i dont want to bother you if your busy